Hmmz..haven hit the mid-twenties of my life. But I feel like I have been through quite a bit this year.
The whole of last week was quite a whirlwind of events.
My FIL passed away and that’s where I learnt that when a person goes, there are so many things to settle after that.
I never once thought that there is a need for certification for death though of course, I knew that one must be certified somehow. But it never crossed my mind how it should be done, where it should be done and what should be done.
Rituals/customs. Never once a firm believer. We always thought that yes, a person goes, moths will come. Why? Is it just a coincidence? But on that day, a moth came. How about dreams? Or a person coming back after the 7th day? Well, I dreamt. BIL said FIL came back. Not sure if it’s coincidence again.
CPF & $$. All the talk about assets, cash, liabilities. Well, feel like tat’s all the dead can leave for the present. Of course, there are memories & longing. But it’s no longer the same. I walked past the room & always think if FIL will be there. Not really a longing but just mere rememberance.
Makes me start to think…how I want myself tobe gone in the future, where I want it to be & what rituals/customs should I follow. Apparently, life is seriously beyond just work. Just that work is needed to make us feel that life has a purpose somehow.
Lost of voice. Of course, being an avid choir member in the past, loss of voice was common. But I got it back 2-3 days after. This time, it took a full 1 wk plus & now, I just got back slightly. The pain of losing voice & not being able to communicate with my voice SUX. Can’t eat good food, can’t speak. Drowning myself in honey & lozenges is NO JOKE. Thought I am so going to get diabetes. Antibiotics not helping tremendously.
Work. Least on my mind. Start to think that lots of things happen for a reason. Work just seem to take a seat back. Guess the first 2-3yrs of my working life, I always thought that building a career is impt. That’s what schools taught me. That’s what society deems. But suddenly, u realised that at the end of life, it does not matter anymore. Companies do not mourn over the loss of you. Families & friends do. But does that mean that I stop working/climb the ladder? Unfortunately not. Seems like I am also indoctorinated by all the society norms & stupid values.
Renovation. House is so essential to have. I can’t wait to start the renovation & build a little space for myself & family. It sort of symbolises the step to growing up. Though I dun think I will stop being a whiney kid to my friends & uncle mark…hahahaha tat’s no longer maturity. It’s part of character.
But yes. Totally looking forward. 🙂 Going through all the contractors. Meeting them. Talking to IDs. All these made me feel that there are so many choices out there. Customer is KING!
18th Oct. Back to Amore. Not sure if I am loving it. But YES! Finally. After 3 mths of recuperation. It’s time to start hitting the classes & get back into shape. Sighz. Operation & miscarriage & falling sick really took it’s toil on my body. To think that all along I thought I was a healthy little cow…hahahahaha
Bali Trip. Can’t wait. I have to get everything planned out well. Hopefully I am able to really enjoy this trip, get a decent break & be zen for a while.
ARGGHHH… Tests…finally decided to take up driving. It’s time. The year of 25, I will like to accomplish more than in my year of 24. Maybe it’s also a good time to take up baking classes. AH…meaning to say..I will love to have a build-in oven which uncle mark said it’s GOOD to have 1! YIPPEE!!!
okz..time to hit the lotus notes. Like seriously, companies need to upgrade! 😦