Feeling Shitty

Shit feeling.

I really cannot stand my fat face, fat arms, legs and body. Was examining myself in the mirror over the weekend and seriously wonder how did I become such an ugly bitch.

Not that I am blaming Eli. But Eli is definitely not helping me. I am ballooning every other day and waking up with bloated arms, legs and feet. It’s painful and tiresome to walk. Considering that I am already fat (pre-pregnancy). I am just getting fatter. I dread to see myself in the mirror every other day. No clothes are also fitting anymore. I am growing out of them faster than u can say “Hello”.

& I actually see pimples popping up on my face! GROSS. Though I know it’s all due to hormonal changes. I am seriously considering hibernating myself at home. So that I dun have to face the world.

Of course, it does not help that I have developed angry rashes (like herpes) – shingles behind my ear. All thanks to the low immunity present during pregnancy. Now I have to deal with the stupid chicken pox virus dormant in my body who suddenly decided to awake out of the blue & fester behind my ears making my head so damn freaking in pain. GOSH! To think that the forums and docs all say that it’s super rare for pregnant women to get shingles. PLEASE. I am like one in a few thousands suffering. Of course, this leads to me freaking out for uncle mark who never had chicken pox before. Though it’s not contagious. STILLz… I cannot bear to take care of him when he is having chicken pox + it’s so freaking dangerous.

If only the next 3 mths whiz by faster. I seriously cannot wait for things to start moving at a faster rate so that I can concentrate on just getting slimmer, breastfeed & play with Eli everyday.

sobz…tonight have to go home & start cleaning up the house. How exciting. GRRR wonder if I should buy the de-stress toy so that I can start whacking something to feel better.

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