Me pride myself as an inborn planner. Love to plan out my life to create sort of order and ensure that I dun waste too much time. So, for e remaining last few weeks of my maternity leave, am trying to simulate e going-back-to-work routine. It’s tough.
Eli is e main obstacle. Never able to predict his next exact feeding time. Considering that he rejects e bottle at home and seriously prefer to b nursed, my nights are basically forgone.
In e last couple of days, have tried reintroducing amore back to my everyday life. Another mis-calculation w Eli being sick, plans have to b changed. Expressing milk also became tougher as I can only last max 4hrs before feeling e strain. An wondering when I can stop e whole process and just rely on bottles!!! I have e luxury to do so coz I have a whole freezer filled w nothing but milk! Yet, under-used!
Apart from exercising and expressing milk, I have also piled up a decent amount of books to read and study. Turns out to b extremely challenging to complete anything since my brain requires sleep + Eli has to b taken care of. Now he does not sleep much in e day, there’s a constant need to entertain and educate him. Household chores also took a severe backseat. Thanks to uncle mark for helping to maintain a totally clean house. Otherwise, Draining! Even taking a simple family shot proved to b a tough job!
Inspired by Manic Mummy, life at home marks e end of many things. There’s no more leisure anything. No more nipping out in mid-thought-stream because of e ever changing diapers and feeding needs. It’s reality hitting 24/7!
So e main satisfaction? Seeing e little one grow? Nah! Seeing e little one smile? Nah! Just e perverse side of me feeling secretly pleased to have Eli depending on me. It’s no mummy, no honey (of all sorts)!
Routine? Plans? I guess I just have to stick w chaos in midst of order as much as I can. For Now.