After the demise of LKY, Eli has comprehended the idea of birth, age and death. In the past couple of months, he has been asking us how it will be if there’s no longer Daddy or Mummy. How will we remain in his heart. In the first place, why we aren’t there. What will happen to Zachy. What about his friends. When he grows older, what will become of Zachy. If he dies too, will we be sad, etc.
Based on psychological theories, kids mold their thoughts/maturity when they enter certain age stages. However, through Eli, I realised that there’s no harm in exposing them earlier to many issues in life n simplify difficult topics to doses that he understands. I was quite glad to let him know that even if daddy and mummy aren’t around, there will always be his brother, uncles, aunties around..he is not alone.
As I took care of Zachy fully for the past 16 weeks, I felt the strain, the fatigue since I do not have a maid nor help. I was cranky and moody. And it struck me nonetheless that there would be no other time like now that I can get to spend so much time with Zachy. Seeing him grow from a newborn to now an infant and comparing him to the growth of Eli, the impact of time loss is ever so great. Being a mum of 1 versus a mum of 2, the process becomes harder too. Growing up really means more responsibilities and hard work. Hopefully in a few years time, I will look back at this period and reminisce instead of lament.
At this stage, I am proud to say I managed to take care of my kids alone with uncle mark. We did not succumb to getting a maid nor putting my kids with in-law/parents. Though occasionally I have to admit that we do get some help from them, especially times of emergency (when eli ended up in A&E to remove a piece of item stuck in his nose) and over some weekends when we wanted a couple of coffee-break hours. Other than that, it’s me facing the kid 24/7…washing, cleaning, packing and doing light household chores in the absence of my weekly helper. I have to pat myself on my back.
Of course, this also means that other things take a backseat…such as exercising to get my figure back. Haiz. Growing up has never seem to make my figure better. Instead, my figure looks more and more like an auntie. Oh Gosh! It’s such an uphill task. Fortunately, being a hot mum is not in my life goals. I just wanna be a decent mum and hopefully my kids will love me more and more along their years of growing up! Growing up is tough!