Confinement Chronicles – Week 2

As I move towards the 2nd week of my confinement, I have loads to thank about.

Of course must thank my mil, uncle mark and mum for coming to help take care of Eli and Zach while I do all sorts of other non-essential stuff.

I think the most important thing that tied me through this 2nd week is the loads of magazines that I have gotten some time to read up on. Newspapers! Never a great fan but reading is a food for the soul (somehow).

All the doc visits to do Jaundice tests, gynae checks…quite an experience. I mean if it was with uncle markie…I would have ensure that I slipped in a great meal of sorts to reward myself for the hard work. Now, with Mil, eh…have to restrict my diet.

Of course, it does not help to know that I only lost 10kg post pregnancy. Sighz…more hard work required to ensure that I lose even more.

Hopefully when the massage lady comes during week 4 of my confinement…more weight can be lost. Sighz…

Confinement Chronicles – Week 1

I personally think that internet is a bane for confinement period. But what better idea to document this down since it will be most prob my final experience w pregnancy, confinement and all.

Prior to delivery…I already had master plans on the things I wanna get online. So what I did? My fave hobby…online spree.

What I bought? OMG…even I can’t believe myself.

1) Kitchen shelf – so that I can make sure that I have more counter-top space in my every cramping up kitchen.

2) Cable box shelf – so that I can make sure that my study table in my bedroom is clutter free

3) Ottoman – so to replace the magazine/newspaper rusty rack that I have used for the past 4 years.

4) Storage boxes – for what…still figuring out…I wanted to use them to store baby clothes/bags etc…

5) Bag Organiser – coz I decided that with all the SG50 bb packages, I have plenty of diaper bags hanging around

6) Multiple USB Charger – so that we can finally renew the current one to prevent explosion (constantly having this fear of it exploding since we have been using it for so many years)

7) Undies – though I am still using disposables…I personally thought it will be nice to get new, high waist ones to wrap my ever exploding belly.

8) Kitchen cooking set – simply cant stand the ones we have now. Need a change. Realised its more a want than a need

9) 10L waterproof bag – I think this was an impulse buy to compensate the impossibility of going swimming with Eli…since I dun have a beautiful bod now plus I cant go into the water…hopefully uncle mark will put this bag to better use

10) Lactation cookies – Life saviour! Especially at night when I am super famished. Ok dun judge me when I am not breastfeeding to the max…but I do get hungry after being a human pacifier every other hour. If only 3 years ago…there were such a thing

11) Stroller bag – Coz I foresee more bottles, more water wamers, more diapers, more everything to be loaded onto the small pram we have…grr…talk about logistics…

Ok..and the list still continues…coz I have not gotten more bb clothes, towels, bedsheets…$$$$$$ kaching kaching!

Week 1 confinement is passing by fast enough. I mean b4 I know…it’s Sunday! All e scary thoughts of going through e epidural injection, getting cut open etc..over! Never again. This time round I actually slept through part of e delivery process coz I felt too much pressure and they had to take a longer time cutting through my wounds..sigh…pains of a mum.

Needless to say..this time round e wounds are taking longer to heal. I feel e pain more intense than b4. Of course uncle markie said I was silly not to take e painkillers but I decided that I should rely less on the medication and focus on more positive stuff like busying myself around e house…eating and drinking and trying to produce more milk.

With e postpartum belt..I constantly feel e restriction in breathing…too loose and my back aches…too tight and anything I feed into my tummy makes breathing or lying down very uncomfortable and difficult. Painz!

I thought that postpartum sweats would take place immediately for me like how it happened in my first pregnancy. Immediately after birth! Then I realised that this time round it decided to come every night instead…which is quite tormenting to b sleeping perspiring like u are running in your sleep. But good thing is not much water retention felt during this pregnancy and postpartum.. ūüôĆ

Zachary proves to b easier to take care of. I think that’s coz I am more acceptable to feeding him formula at night which allows me to sleep slightly longer…though he has a magic kind of sensor that refuses me to lie on my back for more than 10min b4 he wails loudly for either a carry or a suckle. Attention seeking. But dun they all!

Eli being a big bro now is showing defiance in other forms like constant throwing of tantrums…negotiations…seriously…to negotiate w a 3yo…Sigh…wonder at times who’s e adult and who’s e child.

All thanks to tingkat delivery….one thing less to worry and prepare. Food is good though I think I gonna have diabetes soon w all e red dates tea…gosh! And soups…all the soups..i dun even have e stomach to eat rice. Which is good I guess..but considering that I go hungry so quickly later on is also kinda irritating!

Today we managed to bring Zachary and Eli out for morning walk. So peaceful. I think I can enjoy more of such moments…ita quite therapeutic. To have a bb in my arms…a kid cycling and chatting beside me about e day…nice!

I am blessed. With good health, good kids, good husband and so far good family structure. Not e best but enough. Life compared to many can b worse. And I am constantly telling myself how fortunate I am to b born here. Meet e peeps who I meet and enjoy luxuries which many can’t even meet the basic needs.

This confinement period…albeit boring…i should b more determined to do more reading and reflections. Shall hang in there.

Survived! Omg!

Eli has been so attention seeking while his beloved daddy goes on overseas trip to e states. So all thanks to e idiot box cum baths cum multiple toys could I get him to be distracted while I take a pee or check on dinner or take a rest somehow in e midst of all chaos.

He starts to ask for something. ..which meant biscuits tidbits etc…driving me nuts coz he just ate a decent meal an hour ago. Followed by milk…omg…

Fortunately I have his school to rely on for sanity for most part of e day before he starts terrorising me at night. Basically I cannot b out of his sight and during sleep time…his peculiar habit of having to hold hands started out of nowhere…jeez e insecurity.

Now that his daddy is back. I can’t wait to pass e baton and nurse myself in bed with e 2nd bb in my tummy. It’s getting tiring and trying.

Then again it’s so sad to hear him say he doesn’t want me anymore and daddy is his favourite of e day…Grrr…u grateful brat. Haiz..woes of motherhood!

image

Ramblings alone

Uncle mark flew off to USA today. Sighz.

I miss having company at night to help take care of e son…with bb tarni causing morning sickness everyday.¬† Getting tiring. Cant handle so many things at night all by myself…

Sad part. Figure going downhill. I can’t stop eating and puking.¬† Weight just ballooning. Low self esteem. Sadz.

See so many preggy women w great glow. Me no glow…haiz. only turning into auntie…omg. what’s happening to me?!

Today was a pleasant time spending time w eli. It was quite sad for me to send uncle markie through e departure gates. Coz I felt alone. But eli made it all better. He was a brave boy.¬† No tears all smiles and we had quite a bit of fun in e airport after uncle markie left. Set me thinking. Actually I realised I never really left eli for more than a night.¬† I think it’s very difficult for me to ever leave him for more than a night.¬† Lol.

Fortunately it’s e hols. So I can stay at home and nurse my flu cum morning sickness.¬† Thanks to elis sch…eli gets his social life…still learn stuff while I get some free time lazing in bed.

As what uncle mark says…I am constantly hugging e toilet bowl. Hahahahaha so I definitely need me time to do so. Anyways shall hang in for 9 days. Seriously can’t wait!

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

 

 

 

Pregnancy? !

What I like about pregnancy?¬† Nothing. Seriously!¬† If not for e outcome/result…there’s nothing enjoyable bout being pregnant. I am feeling uncomfortable everyday. I feel nauseous every other min. I vomit my food after every meal. Even drinking water ends up vomiting bubbles cum water.

I feel larthegic all e time. I deprive eli of play..making me feel even more guilty. I couldn’t even manage reading through a book wo feeling e urge to go to e toilet bowl.

Working is even worse. With already a terrible memory…now my working memory is close to nil. Assignments are harder to do day by day.

2nd trimester. If like the first, I would b sweating like crazy. I would feel so swollen due to my constant problem of bloatedness. I will have probs finding things to wear.¬† I will be worried bout more stretch marks though now it doesn’t really matter. The marks from e first pregnancy never went away anyway. ..

3rd trimester.¬† Elephant is me. Me is elephant. Have to lug myself everywhere. Taking kids out will b a chore. Poor kids. Can’t do much for them. Belittle myself. Grrr…so much things to do so little time. Sweat sweat sweat drip drip drip.¬† Snore like thunder.¬† Prob of gestational diabetes. No movement in tummy. .raise e alarm. Panic. Worried.

Last part. Delivery. Shiver like crazy on e metal bed. Epidural is damn scary affair. I never like it. Will never grow to like it. Doc, nurse, whoever just pray I go out safe and no side effects nothing.¬† I dun take too well to morphine. Vomit like nuts while being sewn together. Just gross. Those who said they cried when e bb is out. Never felt that. Cold hearted am I.¬† More like…omg…my bb is out! Finally out!¬† Now let me recover…zzzz

And the next 2 years become a whirlwind.

Gals that love pregnancy. ..they should thank their lucky stars that everything went smoothly for them.

Enough of whining. Suck it up and move on!

October Dreams

All deadlines are fast approaching on 10/10. I am quite looking forward to clearing this semester and enjoying e Nov,  Dec break.

2014 has been a good year of learning and upgrading. Of course my GPA could b much improved but for a working mum, my only wish is to get e cert and move on. Can’t wait to have my own class, own rules and own children to manage. At least /alas…more autonomy!

Not many can boast of being able to cook, clean and take care of a kid while studying and facing multiple datelines wo a helper or an in – law.  That said, it also comes with a price on myself. Eczema flared to become pscrosis,  weight soared and digestion issues sprout up as e year progresses. Sacrifices of a wife and a mum.

It’s quite interesting to hear how some of my ex colleagues telling me that they want to be hot mama or even a mum that is successful and that I should be more careful about my appearance and not center my life too much over Eli. True to certain extent that I have neglected myself too much apart from my periodical facials and massages. So I vow to make it good and better after this bb ‘Tarni’ as named by Eli, really taking care to not take everything upon myself.

But I guess my mantra still stands that no mother is a good mother if she doesn’t know how to take good care of her child. Taking care as in not to delegate to the maid to cook healthier dishes but herself knowing how to cook healthier dishes for her children. Taking care as not to throw her children to school to learn all e values and not reiterate the right mindset at home.  Taking care to teach academia, set routines and disciplinary actions instead of over indulgence or leave it to e grandparents. Taking care to not send children for enrichment for the sake of aspiring their children will be geniuses when they aren’t (one should know your child better than others) and set realistic goals for the children holistic development. Taking care to play with the child and not throwing the child to a maid or a tech gadget.

In midst of all, taking care that e hubby is also being taken care of and quality time is spent w him when e children are sleeping.

Planning to end 2014 with a bun in my tummy wasn’t as planned. Then again life comes with many surprises and this is one surprise that I hope to get over and done with. Unlike many other mummies I have read or come across. I suffer from morning sickness throughout e day which means that I can’t really concentrate on work wo wanting to visit e toilet bowl every other min. If only there’s e results wo e process. hmm. ..

As much as I lament and whine, I know that I am very fortunate to have a great husband, son, family and friends. May not have e most $ to own luxuries such as car and a high position in e working field but am still learning to accept and embrace plus be contented with my everyday small happiness.

Looking forward to many healthy, happy days ahead!

A LONG TIME…

It’s been a super duper long time since I managed to update anything on this blog. All thanks to practicum where I was so freaking tied up with planning and planning and more panning. So glad that it is over and now I am on a week’s beak prior to 2nd semester all over!¬†

How I wish time will just stop at this break for a short while…I think I need it!

These past few months I have been doing tons of observations, reflections and came to many conclusions. There are so many different types of people in the world. Specifically, there are so many types of parents in the world. Everyone tries to put up a facade that they are the best parents (e.g. on social media). Everyone paints the lovely image of a perfect family.

I realized that that’s not what I want my children to grow up on. I rather my son lives a humble life. At least a life where parents aren’t out to impress other parents that they are the best by supplying fantastic gifts for B-days (inculcating materialism is a huge no-no).A life where making mistakes are fine provided that he understands the reasons¬†(logical consequences)¬†behind every ‘no’ instead of just depriving him or telling him off. A life where parents bother to cook, clean, show independence on taking care of themselves; so that my children see a role model and emulate in the future (where they would need to take care of themselves, their own families) and not everything¬†depend on¬†grandparents. Many times, such family dynamics result in finger pointing on why their children turned out to be in a certain manner.

A life where parents are there with them every step of their lives midst of their busy schedules (out of genuine heart to partake in the kids’ lives¬†and not another photo taking opportunity!). The best food, best clothes, best toys do not matter more than a genuine heart. As the road to mold my children’s character is long. I do hope I change my own character and personality to help mold theirs.¬†

I should and if I could, stay true to my very own core of being simple. In this world of materialism and hypocrites, it’s going to be a tough ride to being true to oneself. I am changing and I do hope in time, I can be a better person to show and influence my children.¬†

 

Meantime, thanks to all the friends out there. I cannot wait for the various catch-up sessions prior to all the assignments and planning of a new school term. Excitement! ūüôā¬†

Play!

The importance of play is agreed by many. I personally prefer to have eli develop a love for reading more than play. Afterall, reading brings u to worlds u can’t go. Reading empowers one with knowledge and skill of perception which Dr Google can’t.

So after much inspiration from my eng mod…I supposedly went on a book craze buying satires, slapstick joke books and many brilliant picture books which I longed to have but haven got around buying them.

My buy from e book fair was awesome but not awesome enough. Come june, I will b redesigning my home space to accommodate a library & print rich envt for eli to start learning. The amount of things I wanna do..urgh…so much and yet no time!

And in e midst of all e madness, projects, assignments. ..We made time to e zoo where this post was actually drafted but never made to completion till now.
Random zoo trip. Just a family trip out. Giving eli e +1 to all e animals he knew. Totally loving it.

My brave boy not scared to touch a python nor ponies nor feed goats. Great job! Next he will attempt to conquer a crocodile or hug a mild panda. Will b looking on… :)ūüėô

My weight gain journey is ever increasing.¬† Hates myself but e inertia to start exercising is diminishing day by day. Bad….okz I just want to have a healthy body albeit not a fantastic model one which every mum seems to b after after delivery. I am contented w my size during uni daya? Lol . Thanks to my pseudo twin by name – Eleanor, trips to amore is now gaining to b a weekly affair. Love this babe. Funny & sincere. Great!

Weekends!!!!!! It’s a blast & life keeps rocking!!!! That’s disregarding the 26 assignments and projects which I have left untouched.ūüė©

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

 

 

 

 

 

Before you know it…

CNY is approaching!!!!! OMG!

Jan is a period of exciting & excruciating times.

To travel to the west side of Singapore everyday is a total pain.

Doing assignments every other day is something that I do not look forward to. No inspiration. No mood.

Listening to interesting lecturers and gaining new knowledge, meeting new mates…life is quite fulfilling.

On top of that, having to celebrate Eli’s 2nd year on earth, seeing him grow and loving play everyday does make my life feel better.

Attending parties, gatherings also add on to the ever exciting times in my life. Nothing special but it’s the little things that count.

Spending tons of $$ prior, making grocery lists, doing household chores…life becomes very packed & positive.

Making effort to go amore in spite of all…Mega achievement.

Before you know it? It will be end of the year and me approaching the big O 29. Last year of the twenties. Till then, I really hope to drop 20 (kg). hahahaha